This is it, the end of the first month of the year has finally happened.
I don’t know why I say finally, I wasn’t that desperate for it to end. Actually I should have said already happened! It just went too fast. I know not everyone says that about January but everything is going too fast in my life at the moment.
Don’t be fooled by the photos, we actually barely had a Winter by Midwest standards. The daffodils are already showing up, FFS.
Oh and we started receiving emails to announce that volleyball season is almost resuming. Which is a sure signs that longer and sunnier days are around the corner.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all up for it but there is no real rush either. I don’t want to run through the seasons and life, I would quite like to enjoy the taste of it all before it ends, please.
It is not helping that my days are full to the brim at the moment and I am not kidding when I say that every night I go to bed thinking “wasn’t I here like 10 min ago?!”.
I am very torn between wanting to do lots of different things and taking it slow.
I have dreams above and beyond what is realistically achievable, but I can’t pick and choose and as usual I go for the whole package. I bury my head in the whole cake and will eat until my body tells me to get out of here.
My life is always oscillating between periods of go go go until exhaustion finally catches up and forces me to take a break. I wish I could pace myself, but I just don’t know how to. No matter how many times I try to coach myself through it all, I fall right back into these habits that make me who I am.
I have period of hyper focus followed by extended period of rest and I mean this becomes obvious if you just take a look at my instagram feed for example. You will see cluster posts followed by nothing for days, weeks even.
I do this with everything. Work, home, decorating, exercise regime, healthy diet, everything.
The truth is that I very often spend time feeling like a failure, like once again I have not accomplished what I had set out to do. I self sabotage constantly and I still haven’t found the deep reason why. I got as close as suspecting it but it is still there, anchored and being a total jerk.
January 2024, was definitely a hyper focus month. I started rebuilding not one but two blogs and studying for my interior design alongside of it.
Our diet has gone awry and mostly consisted of “what’s left over or in the freezer?” And “I can probably make a meal for 4 with two sad looking courgettes, an egg and bit of cheese”. The answer is yes, but some of us are still hungry after. And thank god, the one vegetarian of the family is not vegan…
So anyway snippets of January that went a bit like this…
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